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Cornered

February 19, 2010

Feel sorry for my blog lately – haven’t been writing much. Even stories don’t seem to be coming as easy. A lots going on in real life, which is part of the problem. And a lot more isn’t going on. Maybe avoiding twitter hasn’t helped. I kind of gave up on it because I don’t feel the connections any longer. Don’t feel like I’m a part of the flow. Seems like the flows have started moving on around me with barely a hiccup as they pass me by. Trying to find a place where I do belong. I enjoy tumblr and my blog so I’m keeping them up but I’ve felt a little empty.

I’m keeping in touch with a few, the ones that want to anyway. I’m really not hard to find. Maybe that’s passive-aggressive of me but hey if you don’t care enough to make the effort, then I’m not missing much. It always hurts when people find new paths that take them away from me but I can’t fault them for taking those paths. There are always reasons. Someone who was a better fit – a better “connect”. I’m doing my best to just let those go, not try and keep them by holding on too tight. As they say if you let it go and it comes back, it was meant to be.

Anyway – I do want to write. So if you want to drop ideas on me I’ll see what I can do. I do love writing but sometimes I feel like I have no clue what I’m talking about. Hard to write some scenes when you have no experience. That whole write what you know thing. And really, I’ve got a very boring life. Now you know the sad truth. Nothing exciting to write about damn it. Unless you could the FL folks that write me who are 18 and have no clue. Or the ones that immediately (without knowing me at all) want to jump on (or want me to jump on). Sorry folks but a conversation of a handful of messages back and forth doesn’t constitute “knowing me”.

Meh. Life is what it is but right now it’s not what I want. I’m feeling lonely, alone. Nothing that is mine. Except here. And I’m bored of it. Ennui is a killer. So ask me questions, or drop me a line to suggest a story. Or something. You know where to find me. Heck I might even put that damn google number up if I can. I’m on gmail. I check DMs and my FL account. So you may not see me, but I’ll be around, lurking in my corner.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 19, 2010 1:22 pm

    aww, I sorry I havent kept in touch. Been a little blah myself.
    You said you dont like to hold on to people and I understand but you can IM and say boo once in a while 🙂
    Gotta go back to work.
    I am subscribed to your blog in email :o)

    • sweetspice permalink*
      February 21, 2010 5:42 pm

      *hugs* I know you’re there Dave – no worries hun.

  2. February 20, 2010 8:22 am

    I have the same problem, when my life is busy or boring I have nothing to share. I try to find inspiration in the strangest of places. *hugs you tight*

    • sweetspice permalink*
      February 21, 2010 5:43 pm

      Thanks hun *hugs* back atcha.

  3. February 22, 2010 7:12 pm

    don’t give up on some of us. we are all broken.

  4. February 23, 2010 1:15 pm

    i struggle with this internal fight all the time. I’m tired of having to chase after people to get them to talk to me and for the most part, I just stay quiet and wait for when someone wants to talk to me. The problem is, it stays pretty quiet. So at what point do I say fuck it and try to contact everyone… I don’t know… seems like a lot of work that only *I* am doing. I feel your pain hun.

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