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Opening The Conversation

October 14, 2009

When I first started to explore my kinky side, one of the things that really intrigued me (okay, okay it got me totally HOT) was the though of strap-on play. I hadn’t heard the term pegging before, but once I knew what that meant, I had my fantasy! (BTW, if you don’t know – Pegging refers to the use of a strap-on by a female to assume the dominant position in intercourse – usually for anal penetration). Now I don’t see why it couldn’t refer to any type of gender-bending (femme topping butch, female topping male) but that’s the whole question.

You see, I’ve made my desire known and I’ve met with mixed reactions. From both male and female. Some guys automatically assume the “hands over the ass” position at the mere mention. Others are ready to bend over. And the same goes for females, some seem intrigued others see it as deviant or just plain boring.

I’ve had the thought for a while now to really explore this issue, come up with some questions, and come up with a good definition. To gain some understanding of why people like (or don’t like it) on both sides of the gender equation. And yes, I think it CAN apply more than just heterosexuals or bisexuals (kind of antiquated terms in themselves if you think about it). So keep watching the space. I’m going to be coming up with some questions/thoughts to foster discussion on the subject.

We’ll take advantage of twitter as well as blogspace. Why even today we had a great discussion about pegging via twitter. Don’t worry, if you want to maintain anonymity that will be absolutely okay. I will ask each participant before posting to the blog whether it’s okay to use your blog/twitter handle/name. So be thinking on it. And please, I definitely want the cons too. If you’ve got ideas for questions please let me know!

So bend over baby, cause I’m coming your way!

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Paul (musingsatsunset) permalink
    October 15, 2009 1:10 am

    A great post, full of intriguing issues on and around the subject of pegging! I’ve never tried or experience pegging. It intrigues me. On an absolute physical level I have concerns about initial pain levels – as a straight (not necessarily in fantasy) male I’m an anal virgin.
    Yet what really intrigues me and turns me on about pegging, and this perhaps starts to get at some of the issues above, is that I’m fascinated by the ‘switching’ of roles and metaphors (of penetration) that have been at the heart of traditional gender relations, roles and counter-feminist discourses in recent decades.
    I love the idea of all that language, metaphor and power relation coming back (behind!) on me. This has slight slippage into bicuriou fantasy but ultimately pegging appeals because I want to be fucked, I want a horny strapped on girl to ride me and do to me as she pleases.
    I think this is where the debate starts to come to life – in issues of history, power relations and an inversion of traditional gender roles.
    Bend me over and do as you please …

    • sweetspice permalink*
      October 15, 2009 8:52 am

      Thank you so much for this great comment! Yay for meat that I can sink my teeth in and comment back on!

      And yes that whole power exchange is what intrigues me as well. Although I’ve heard that anal exploration is really hot for guys so part of it wanting to
      do something that I think would expand the pleasure boundaries for the guy I’m with. I know that some are uncomfortable with it, but I think starting small and exploring on your own is a great way to get used to the idea. Maybe you’ll find you don’t like it. But at least you’d know that.

  2. October 15, 2009 10:53 am

    A lot of what Paul is saying is dead on with my mindset. I’m not an anal virgin, love being on the giving or receiving side of anal sex. However, to me when you start talking about ‘pegging’ it’s not just anal sex, at least to me. It is about dominance, it is about sexual roles, it is about bending traditional gender norms. I’m really turned on by the idea of coming into a scene being dominant and having the tables turned like that.

    • sweetspice permalink*
      October 15, 2009 10:58 am

      That is definitely one of the things I was getting at. Especially when you’re looking at interactions between femme/butch. Which hole gets used is less important than the feelings, the turning of the tables. I can’t even begin to think of myself in the positioin of wearing a strap-on without getting a growly, powerful feeling. It very much puts me in control it’s absolutely part of what I like.

  3. October 15, 2009 8:57 pm

    I am just not into anal because of the yuck factor, I am not into poo poo lol also, I do not think I would enjoy it physically. On the other hand I would try anything once if my hunny wanted to.

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