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September 30, 2009

First, this is NOT a Microfantasy. If you want to see some of the great stories around the theme frustration – go check out Ang’s site. I did have a great idea for frustration. Of course it would have been evil and fun, but I decided instead to speak about my personal frustrations. I know I know – I talk too much about how I’m feeling. I’m not whining, but I am trying to get my feelings out. Even if YOU dear reader don’t care. *grin* I’m not writing these for you really, although I love people reading them, love comments. I suppose I could pimp the blog more on twitter, but I’ve always hated doing that kind of thing.

Anyway: Frustration.

There have been a lot of frustrating things going on – mostly connected to twitter. I’ve said before I hate feeling ignored. I’ve met a lot of great people on twitter. Some very special ones that stick by me no matter what my mood. But I also see a pattern – someone will be talking to me a lot. I mean really, we’re connecting. There’s all this sexy flirting going back and forth and it’s great. This is someone I could see meeting up with, playing with, being friends with because I like them. But then things change with this “other person”.

Where before the progression moved from getting to know you to talking all the time, now it moved in reverse. Instead of long conversations via text/IM/DM/twitter things dwindle away. Pretty soon a day or two go by with no communication at all. Then a week. And two. *sigh* And poof it’s gone. In most cases, it’s because they’ve found someone else they like talking to more. Oh I know, life gets in the way sometimes. But it’s pretty obvious that what was once flirting is now much less. This “other person” found that something they were looking for. And it wasn’t me.

I’m not whining, but I am FRUSTRATED. I don’t really want a forever after relationship right now, but I’d really like one where I’m special, where I’m wanted. Where I’m the one that fills some hole for the “other person”. I get that sometimes it’s how it works. The puzzles pieces seemed to fit at first, but there’s one over there that fits better. Sometimes it’s chance they find a better match, sometimes they’re actively looking for more pieces. Whatever, it’s frustrating. And it’s not just the “Damn I’m horny” although that’s part of it. I want someone to text with, talk to, connect with.

Ah well, I’m just another frustrated computer geek that lives through the online world with no real life of her own. I don’t expect someone else to make me their whole life, but it’d be nice if they made me an important part of it. Where I felt that I was missed. And you know what else frustrates me damnit! My writing. I like it. I know some people do. But could someone please give me an honest criticism? What part is crappy, where can I make changes, where can I grow? See. I’m just frustrated all over.

But good people are out there. I’ve met really really good friends that I could and would spend time with if I could. I want to (and am) thankful for that and need to stop bitching about what I’m obviously not going to find. But yeah, it’s frustrating. I’ve seen so many people fall by the wayside that I really would have liked to keep as part of my life. But it wasn’t to be. It makes me sad, and reminds me how very frustrating it is. I guess some people are only meant to be part of our lives for a very short time. I wish them well.

So, life is in a word – frustrating.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. September 30, 2009 8:05 pm

    Oh hunny… I have no words of encouragement only to say that I have been there too. Usually, I befriend a woman in a most flirtatious way. Then she and Sylvanus will talk as well… and then before I know it…. I’m left in the dust. It’s really my fault.. I mean… I always end up meeting the girls who have “never done this before and have never felt attracted to women before, but there’s something about you that is different.” Then they meet Sylvanus and they realize, nope… they really just like men more. Eh, you can’t force someone to be something they are not. So yeah… I agree… it’s frustrating and I wish I didn’t make such strong connections with people who never felt that way before. *hugs*

    • sweetspice permalink*
      September 30, 2009 8:12 pm

      When I was thinking of the people I’m very happy to have met, you came to mind. I didn’t mention names, but I am very happy to meet you *smile*. And I’m sorry that you haven’t found the right one yet. I know you’re beautiful, sexy, and fun. *hugs*

  2. September 30, 2009 8:36 pm

    I know the feeling, I have the same thing happen to me. Like you said, you talk to someone for a while and then they slack off (usually I slack off because they are) and next thing you know, you are not talking to that person.

    About your writing, I am not the one to give you criticism unless I saw something obvious. I CAN tell you that the last couple things (including this) seem great to me. I have trouble reading “thick” text and if I can read it easily it is good. I like the way you wrote this 🙂

    • sweetspice permalink*
      October 1, 2009 8:20 am

      Thanks Dave. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything! Just warn me if I start getting too “thick”!

    • October 1, 2009 8:53 am

      please define “thick”, I think I would let you know but in a nice way..

  3. September 30, 2009 11:05 pm

    great, intense writing, i loved reading it, and i can relate, believe you me…

    • sweetspice permalink*
      October 1, 2009 8:22 am

      Maybe it’s just something we all need to work at more. Making the effort. *hug* Thanks for the feedback!

  4. October 1, 2009 7:16 am

    There does seem to be an ebb and flow pattern to online friendships. I’ve seen it over and over again in various social media over the years. For myself, I know that I sometimes have a lot of time and energy for online conversations and flirtations and sometimes don’t. You deserve happiness and to be the focus for someone and I wish you well.

    • sweetspice permalink*
      October 1, 2009 8:21 am

      I have to admit, watching you and your relationships has kind of spoiled me. I know it’s not effortless, but that’s the point. You are MAKING the effort. Because it’s important to you. I’m thinking I’ll let you be the matchmaker for me from now on *grin*. Big hugs and thank you for being a friend.

  5. October 17, 2009 6:18 pm

    I totally understand. This is why I’ve taken myself away from twitter so much in the last few months. There was one particular person I really connected to – emailing each other and chatting multiple times and then I was dropped. We had some serious conversations and I really thought I had made a friend – even if it was only to be online.
    It hurts and it sucks. All I can say is that when you start feeling like this it really does help to step away from the computer a bit and find something else to keep your interests.

    I hope you are feeling better now. I know this was a couple of weeks ago – but I also know I’m still hurt over my “dropping” which was a couple of months ago.

    • sweetspice permalink*
      October 17, 2009 9:09 pm

      You’re right, even after a lot of time has passed, it still hurts. I’m trying to learn not to care. It’s easier at home
      where I can change my filters and just remove that person from view. But I still miss the connection. I’m sorry
      to hear you’ve been dealing with this kind of crap too. I suppose it’s inevitable in a place where some people
      are very superficial. Know that *I* care. *smile* Thank you for the hugs and *hugs* back.

    • October 17, 2009 9:37 pm

      I have had a few like that and I just move on but know it is harder for others..

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