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Sticking It Out There

August 19, 2009

What is it that I’m sticking out there you ask? (No, not my boobs, though those ARE always kind of out there.) An awesome, sexy, honest guy named Kyle tagged me for a new meme (that is what these are called right?) that demands honesty.honestscrapaward-1

So I have to pick 10 folks:
1. Pagankinktress who not only has great taste in music, but also is totally open and honest about who she is! And she has great taste in music. Really!
2. Bindguy who is helping me explore a new depth previously unplumbed, and also shares his whole self on his blog.
3. Vanimp who has no problem with taking people down a peg or two with her hard-core honesty.
4.Dragon Mage is a very sexy, master who shares all kinds of great honesty in his blog. I love hearing about his explorations with Luvbunny and all about his reviews!
5. Thursday’s Child, for taking us on a wonderful journey – of sex and shoes.
6. Samtagious who is hot, sexy, and strong. She’s the kind of person who will give you a swift kick if you need it – I need that a lot. She’s brought up some hard subjects that help us all see things a little differently.
7. AlexaRPD makes me laugh. And I love reading her blog where she really works at getting to the meat (no pun intended this time) of sexuality.
8. The Pink Poppet who just started a blog! Truly beautiful human being who loves her Master and is unafraid to share that love!
9. CoyoteToo, he shares all the ups and downs of his own personal explorations into the kinky dating realm.
10. PantheraPardus is last, but certainly not least. She tells us those nitty-gritty details that help us to not only understand her better, but get a better idea on sexuality in general.

Now for the hard part – honesty. It’s hard because I do tend to be willing to share anything with anybody.

1. I’m new to this whole thing (some of you know this) so although the stories and even the things I say may come of as if I have years of experience, I don’t. Big reveal: since I moved to Fresno (nearly 12 years ago) I’ve had sex with two guys (both friends who came for a weekend) – and fooled around with one other, but no sex. I’ve been busy, no family, no sitter. Lots of things happened. Plus I AM shy. So really, I’m starting over. And I really want to start over, like – now. Please.

2. I pretty much am at negative 100 in the self-esteem department. See above (I’m shy!). I know in my head that fat people are just as beautiful as any one else – it’s all about confidence. I have none. Part of it was my mom (“I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly?”), part of it was just life experiences. Sometimes I feel sexy, like when music is on and I’m dancing. But I have this mental image of a gypsy, curvy body, long curly hair, dancing barefoot around a fire. That’s who I see myself as, but then I walk past a mirror.

3. I’m a packrat – with ADHD. So I get easily distracted and though I love a clean house, the fact that I have so much STUFF drives me so nuts, that I never feel it’s clean. So I ignore it. Yet, I can’t throw the stuff out! *sigh*

4. I hate my mother. Yep, even now, I still sometimes hate how she was with me. I miss her like crazy, she’s been gone almost 4 years. We got to a point where things were okay enough to say I love you. But sometimes I still hate the hurt she left me with.

5. Artificial banana flavor – that’s my crack. Laffy Taffy. Banana Quik. Banana Slurpees. Yep.

6. I make fun of the girly-girls who can’t go a day without make-up (not the ones that use a trowel and 5 lbs of the stuff) but inside I’m envious. I never really had girl-friends to teach me all that.

7. I sleep with a cuddle pal. Yes, damnit, I do! I need something to wrap my arm around when I sleep. Pillows are just too big.

8. I’ve been out of the state exactly 3 times. When I was 3, to Oklahoma. When I was 20-something with a couple of friends to Vegas. Then to a BBW bash when I was in my 30’s, again in Vegas.

9. I sing along with songs. So if I blip lyrics, I’m singing. Horribly, but I am singing. I do NOT do karaoke.

10. I swim with my glasses on. I know they get wet, but I still do it. I need to be able to see. So not only do I look dorky normally, I look extra dorky in a pool.

Alright, there you have it. 10 facts about me. All true. Oh and did I mention I’m really 5ft 8 with red hair, I weigh about 150. And I’m sexy? I didn’t? Ah that’s cause it wouldn’t have been HONEST! Now go be honest yourself! Be honest to yourself.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. August 19, 2009 9:09 pm

    Awwww sweetie! I could cry! Thats just about the nicest thing I’ve heard in weeks! ~xox!!! You’re awesome darlin, really and truly ❤

    • Stacy permalink*
      August 19, 2009 9:21 pm

      *big hugs* I will tell you daily then how awesome you are! You deserve it.

  2. August 19, 2009 9:13 pm

    Oh and re: girly girls–I wear 5 tonnes of makeup whenever I go out but its my punky funky style and without it–I feel naked, for real. I always envied the naturally pretty girls who felt cozy just being… **HUGS**

  3. August 19, 2009 10:15 pm

    Well, one thing I have to say – being maybe one of the few who’ve met you in person you are a truly delightful woman to be around. I also feel that if you have the incredible guts to let it all hang out (as in the above) you must have confidence – you just dont realize how much you have. I dont think many people could write what you did…

    I hope you dance, and dance with the joy that comes from inside. Hell, cover the mirror with a damn blanket if it bothers you. You are a beautiful person.

    Hugs to you. And I truly admire youor honesty.


  4. wtfskh permalink
    August 20, 2009 11:31 am

    okay 5’8″ at 150 got news for u, u r not overweight!!!! yes honestly i don’t think so.. i know the feeling of no self esteem and it came b overcome.. i do it daily.. i do believe that if u were forced to pay attention to one thing u could do it… no not coming down on u unless it is with a hand.. i know it seems harsh but the reality check is look at my wife 5’5″ 300+ bipolar and she doesn’t take care of herself..

  5. thepinkpoppet permalink
    August 20, 2009 7:11 pm

    Gotta say, for whatever it is worth to you…I feel that you are a beautiful person. And we share a lot in common as we have compared before, but also I have a thing for artificial banana flavored sugar free Popsicles….could eat a box a day if I had them…come to think of it, I have before in the past. LOL. Also had serious issues with my mother, who passed away 9 years ago. Some of the same issues you seemed to have had with your mother. Still have issues with her sometimes it seems like. Now I AM a sort of girlie girl sometimes (pink manicure mostly) but I often go for days or weeks sometimes without any makeup at all…but I still love makeup. I sing along to songs all the time and dance around the house when I am alone. Anyway, wanted to tell you that I applaud your honesty. Thanks for sharing.

    • Stacy permalink*
      August 25, 2009 8:53 pm

      *hugs* thank you for that. And yes, I figured out the girly girl part. I guess I’ll forgive you. The differences are the spice after all!

  6. August 22, 2009 3:22 pm

    Thanks for playing along 🙂

    I happen to think you’re sexy and brave.

    • Stacy permalink*
      August 25, 2009 8:53 pm

      Thank you! You’re pretty sexy and brave yourself – and thank you for tagging me!

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