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Doing It All Wrong

February 27, 2009

Warning, this isn’t a happy post or a story, it’s a contemplative post, because sometimes I need to think about what I did wrong.

I’ve always liked sex, even if everything went wrong, because I enjoyed the person I was with. It may shock people to hear that I don’t mind if I don’t get to cum, I very much enjoy making the other person feel pleasure. That is what gets me hot. When I had a chance to spend a weekend with a guy I considered a friend I jumped at it. I didn’t really have a clue how I’d feel when we met in person, but I liked HIM so I’d enjoy it no matter what.

I didn’t really have a lot of expectations, but I planned just in case. During our day together doing mundane things I found myself getting wetter and wetter. I was really excited, not just for the sex, but for him. He was making me crazy hot. I’m not a porn star or a sex goddess, just rather ordinary female who likes sex, and enjoys all the pieces that make it fun. Maybe my stories make people think I am. Maybe he expected more.

Regardless, I had fun. Things didn’t work perfectly, but I came, several times. Then I felt bad because he didn’t. There were some physical difficulties, and I was willing to work with them, but at the very least I wanted to get a taste of him. I love sucking cock. It’s fun and I love the way it tastes and feels. I however, felt rather foolish. I just guess I don’t do it right. Never had complaints before.

I did like it, loved it in fact. Enjoyed his company, looked forward to maybe a future encounter. Wasn’t expecting a boyfriend, a ring, or a declaration of love; just an opportunity for more of the same. Instead he kept acting like it was all wonderful, then returned home and started pulling away. Conversations dwindled to nothing. Leaving me feeling sad, and inadequate. Not only did I lose a friend whose company I enjoyed I have begun to feel like I’m crappy in bed.

I know, I need to just get back on the horse (pun intended), and move on.  Parts of me get that it was just – things didn’t mesh. Makes me sad that he graded me and found me wanting, rather than making an effort to work it out. And pisses me off a bit that he acted like it was cool, then just poof. Anway, done venting. Needed to get this off my chest. Need to just find a friends with benefit situation. But this time, I’ll keep the friendship part out of it. Sex and friendship evidently don’t mix.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. February 27, 2009 10:46 pm

    I can’t say why he’s behaving the way he is.. Perhaps he thought he was in for a weekend of wild and weird sex.. Maybe that’s all it was to him.. Maybe he got spooked because he actually had fun, enjoying your company and is having dificulty working it out in his mind… Or maybe he’s just a prick trying to get laid.. But, ultimately, it’s his loss if he can’t get over himself and enjoy what is..
    As for the sex, think back. Remember that he’s not the judge of this.. It’s your total experience.. Don’t base your evaluation of your abilities on his reactions.. Take care…

    • shytrblemaker permalink*
      February 28, 2009 1:21 am

      Thank you. That really hit home, and you’re right. I need to remember I had a great time.

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